The Book in Three Sentences

Connect is a transformative guide to building more fulfilling relationships with colleagues, friends, partners, and family, based on the landmark Interpersonal Dynamics (“Touchy-Feely”) course at Stanford’s Graduate School of Business.

Book Summary

The ability to create strong relationships with others is crucial to living a full life and becoming more effective at work. Yet many of us find ourselves struggling to build solid personal and professional connections or unable to handle challenges that inevitably arise when we grow closer to others. When we find ourselves in an exceptional relationship — the kind of relationship in which we feel fully understood and supported for who we are — it can seem like magic. But the truth is that the process of building and sustaining these relationships can be described, learned, and applied.

Using many real-life examples and research-backed insights, Connect can help anyone hoping to improve relationships and build new ones at any stage of life. We follow five relationships — read about their challenges as they move towards deeper and more fulfilling connection and how they use the concepts in the book to get there. They learn about the value of showing more of themselves in an authentic way, developing trust, mutual influence so that each can get their needs met, handling minor annoyances to prevent major conflicts, and dealing with significant disagreements in ways that resolve issues while further strengthening the relationship.

How to Show Vulnerability

The 15% rule.

How to Provide & Receive Feedback

When in conflict, only two of the three realities are known:

  • Their intentions and objectives (only known to the other person)
  • Their behaviors (both of you know this)
  • Your reaction to their behaviors (only you know)